Readings-4: Gratitude Exercise-Focus on Building Relationships
Topics Covered in
Module-4: Readings-4:
1. Links between Social
Connections and Happiness
- Why Are We "Wired to Connect"?
- Why Gratitude Is Good?
- Psychological benefits of gratitude
- Social benefits of gratitude
- Gratitude in School
- Gratitude in Work
2. Happiness Concepts
Connected with Others: Kindness, Compassion, Altruism, & Empathy
3. The Power of
Gratitude
4. Cultivating Gratitude
Let's start this Module with this Video: What Feeds a
Family? Now let me ask- “What REALLY matters to
you?” Honestly, let's try to answer this to ourselves.
Links between Social Connections and Happiness
I
am sure we all know that social connections are important in our lives. Let's
see what it means to our happiness. In this next video, Dr. Emiliana explains a
research that links social connections to happiness (and social isolation to
pain). Pay close attention to the findings of the research studies that link
social connection and happiness. It is also worth noting that Ed Diener and
Martin Seligman, two pioneers of “happiness science”, write that good social
relationships "might be a necessary condition for high happiness."
She describes various studies in the video
Social Connection and Happiness (Dr.Emiliana's guest lecture video)
A new study finds that a happy life is much more about making friends than it is about making the grade. The authors conclude: "If these pathways are separate, then positive social development across childhood and adolescence requires investments beyond development of the academic curriculum." What’s your take on that??
A new study finds that a happy life is much more about making friends than it is about making the grade. The authors conclude: "If these pathways are separate, then positive social development across childhood and adolescence requires investments beyond development of the academic curriculum." What’s your take on that??
All right, let us watch another interesting video before moving into the Science side of it: The Secret of Happiness (SoulPancake Video). So, what are your thoughts on what makes a happy family? Let's discuss on that a little later in reflections. Now back to the Science of Social Connectedness.
Why
are we "Wired to Connect"?: Having
seen the evidence that social connections are key to happiness, we have to ask:
Why is that? Why do we enjoy such a psychological boost from our social ties?
To
help answer that question, in this next video I'll turn our attention to the
study of human evolution. Dr.Dacher explores various reasons why, according to
researchers, our propensities to affiliate and connect might have proven
essential to the survival of our species. These evolutionary insights suggest
that the happiness benefits of social connections aren't just about politeness,
or certain cultural norms; they may actually be entwined with our DNA. They
also help us understand our own minds, putting us in a stronger position to
identify the choices and activities that will bring us the greatest amount of
happiness. As you watch, consider whether this evolutionary account of our
"ultrasociality" rings true. Is there additional evidence you'd like
to hear about, either in favor or against this view? Why we "wired to connect"? (Dr.Dacher in this video focuses on
the evolutionary roots for social connections and happiness).
No
discussion of the biology of connection would be complete without covering
oxytocin, a neuropeptide that is sometimes referred to as the "cuddle
hormone," or the "moral molecule."
Stay
with me here... I'm not going deeper into the science underneath the role of
biology here, but just a brief overview to help us understanding the way we are
wired.
- Scientists have long known that oxytocin plays an
important role in childbirth and in mother-child bonding (such as during
breastfeeding), but recent research suggests that its role in promoting
connection is even more extensive than that. For example, oxytocin is also
instrumental in fathers forming bonds with newborns, and in the
stress-relieving effects of a supportive friend's comforting touch. A
New research finding reveals that Oxytocin doesn’t just bond us to
mothers, lovers, and friends—it also seems to play a role in excluding others
from that bond. Read about "Five
Surprising Ways Oxytocin Shapes Your Social Life"
Attachment Styles: Causes and Consequences (Dr.Dacher in this video discusses what secure
attachment is and how it related to happiness). Now
that we have got an idea of basic types of attachment and theory behind it,
let's have a look at the brain studies that connects attachment styles to
happiness.
Attachment, Happiness, and the Brain (Dr.Pris's lecture on
attachment style as it relates to happiness through Brain studies)
- Attachment
Styles and Close Relationships assessment is a helpful tool to understand the way we relate
to others in the context of close relationships. Make sure to take this
measurement and reflect on how your experiences in life has shaped who you
are now and in your relationship formations. You may also use any similar assessments from other online sources.
- "Scratch a
Happy Adult, Find a Socially Connected Childhood" article illustrates the enduring
significance of positive social relationships.
Do
you have commitment, trust, and attachment issues? Science helped Meghan
Laslocky—and it just might help you, too. Becoming familiar with the ins and
outs of attachment theory has, quite simply, changed her life. Read this
article to learn "How to Stop
Attachment Insecurity from Ruining Your Happiness". In this article, journalist Meghan Laslocky
explores how research like this offers hope for people (like her) who have had
issues with commitment, trust, and attachment.
Happiness Concepts Connected with Others: Kindness,
Compassion, Empathy, & Altruism
Kindness: is a general, everyday term describing behaviors that
involve being friendly, generous, or considerate. Pro-social is
the term favored by scientists to refer to kind, helpful behaviors or states,
but it is also quite broad. New research suggests that once you start
doing nice things for other people, you might not want to stop. Kindness
Makes You Happy… and Happiness Makes You Kind, reads in an article by Alex Dixon.
Below
are definitions of more specific terms that relate to these general qualities.
Understanding them, and the differences between them, is important to
understanding the science that we cover in this course.
Compassion: Literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion
researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you witness
another’s suffering and feel motivated to help relieve that suffering.
Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are
related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to sense the
emotions--and/or take the perspective--of another person, compassion is when
those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. While altruism is often
prompted by compassion, one can feel compassion without acting on it, and
altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion. Watch this video on
compassion. As you have watched it, I am sure you have another question in your
mind- how is compassion connected to happiness? Take a moment to see the
research studies on Compassion-Happiness loop.
Altruism: Altruism is when we act to promote someone else’s welfare,
even at a risk or cost to ourselves. Many debate whether and why true (or
"pure") altruism actually exists. Evolutionary scientists speculate
that altruism has deep roots in human nature because helping and cooperation
promote the survival of our species. Indeed, Darwin himself argued that
altruism, which he called “sympathy” or “benevolence,” is “an essential part of
the social instincts.” Some evolutionary biologists argue that organisms may
sometimes put themselves at risk in order to help another because they expect
that the other organism will return the favor down the line, a concept known
as reciprocal altruism. Studies show giving makes people
happy, and happiness makes people give--but not always. Elizabeth
Dunn and Michael Norton offer three ways to help people feel good about giving.
What
does it mean to be charitable? Do we have to be charitable all the time? In the
following experiment, researchers hand over $50 to each participant but
attached to each bill is a choice: The person gets to decide if he/she can keep the money
for themselves or donate it to a charity of their choosing. It feels good to
give back but then again…$50 is $50. If you were given $50, would you donate it
or keep it? Give it to a good cause or put it toward those bills you stress
about? Neither answer is right or wrong, but one could have a greater effect on
your happiness. Here is the study they based this experiment on and here's
the video on: Does Money Lead to Happiness?
Acts of Kindness and Happiness (Dr.Pris's Lecture on acts of kindness)
Empathy: Emotion researchers generally define empathy as the ability
to sense other people’s emotions (affective empathy), coupled with the ability
to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling (cognitive empathy).
Studies suggests that empathy is often a vital first step toward altruistic
behavior, but it does not always lead to altruism, and altruistic acts can be
motivated by factors other than empathy. More specifically, research by Daniel
Batson and others suggests that empathy is much more likely to lead to altruism
when it elicits the specific feeling of empathetic concern, which is
when we observe someone in need and truly "feel for" that person--a
state similar to compassion--rather than wanting to escape the situation
or feeling overwhelmed by distress.
Sympathizing
with someone’s pain is one thing but actually knowing it is another. In
understanding the Science of Empathy, a few researchers gauged people’s
reactions after they experienced one of the world’s worst misfortunes: a
parking ticket. When you’re down in the dumps, sometimes it’s better to have a
friend down there with you.
In
this episode of The Science of Empathy (SoulPancake Video), they compare
the effects of sympathy vs. empathy on one’s happiness. Let's watch it: Science of Empathy
Optional
viewing: A few more definitions to help
understand the differences in the concepts such as Empathy vs. Sympathy vs.
pity:
Sympathy: Sympathy,
which means "to feel together," is sometimes used synonymously with
compassion. However, while sympathy does refer to feelings of sorrow or sadness
about another person's suffering, it does not typically involve the urge or
motivation to help, or do anything about the situation. In other words, a
person may feel sympathetic towards another person's difficulties, but not feel
inclined to help.
Pity: Feeling
sorry for the suffering or misfortune of someone else. Pity is similar to
compassion, but it suggests a power imbalance, whereby the observer occupies a
place of superiority and looks down upon the person who is suffering.
The Power of Gratitude
Robert
Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and
the author of the book Thanks!: How
Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, has conducted some of the earliest and most
influential studies of gratitude. In this next video, Dr. Emmons explains why
gratitude merits scientific attention. He elaborates on the definition of
gratitude that Dacher provided in the previous video, and he explains the
difference between gratitude as the habit of saying thank you and gratitude as
a "deeper, abiding sense of thankfulness for life."
Why
Gratitude Is Good: Need
motivation for practicing gratitude? Robert Emmons, reveals why gratitude is good for our bodies, our minds,
and our relationships. Hopefully, the psychological benefits of gratitude
should be clear and convincing to you by now. But you still may wonder: Are
these benefits really available to anyone, or just those for whom gratitude
comes naturally? And what about during life's struggles and difficulties--is it
even possible to find gratitude (and happiness) then? Here, journalist
Catherine Price, a "defensive
pessimist" by nature, takes the science
of gratitude for a test drive to see if even she can enjoy its benefits. It's easy
to feel grateful when life is good, says Robert Emmons. But when disaster strikes, gratitude is worth the effort.
Learn about how gratitude can help during hard time.
Dr.Christine Carter also gives the
"Why" behind gratitude and explains why gratitude works. Let's take a
listen: Video lecture.
Wendy
Berry Mendes: The Physiological Benefits of Gratitude: Wendy Berry Mendes, the Sarlo/Ekman Associate Professor of
Emotion at the University of California, San Francisco, has conducted
ground-breaking research on mind-body health. Much of her work has looked at
how our emotions and social experiences, especially stressful experiences,
affect the body down to the cellular level. Recently, she has turned her
attention to gratitude. In the next video, she explains the ground-breaking
study that she conducted in which she looked at how gratitude "gets under
our skin" to affect aging and health, especially cardiovascular health. As
you watch, consider: What indicators or outcomes would you measure in order to
determine the health impact of gratitude? What results would it take to
convince you that experiencing gratitude has definitive effects on physical
health? Do you find Mendes's results convincing?
How Does Gratitude Affect Health and Aging? (Dr. Wendy Mendes
discusses her research, "Effects of Measured and Manipulated
Gratitude on Biomarkers of Health and Aging.")
Sara
Algoe, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of North
Carolina, Chapel Hill, has been a leading gratitude researcher for years.
She discusses the positive effects of
experiencing and expressing gratitude within relationships. How far can
gratitude’s influence on relationships be taken? She mentions in the talk below
of how gratitude expression has been found to correlate with better physical
and mental health, as well as longevity. It is interesting to see that studies
have also found that gratitude not only helps individual’s mental-health
outcomes, but their partner's as well. The facets of gratitude’s positive
influence are still being untangled, as researchers examine how and why gratitude
can help relationships, and which specific gratitude-related behaviors make a
difference.
Phil
Watkins: The Social Benefits of Gratitude: In this video, Watkins considers the cognitive processes
that may explain why gratitude is so good for our general well-being, then
zeroes in on the social effects of gratitude, touching on several different
ways that gratitude has been shown to enhance our feelings of connection to
others. As you watch, consider the question that Dr. Watkins posed to his
students: How does gratitude enhance well-being? In light of the social and
psychological evidence he presents, how would you answer that question? (Is
your answer the same as the one he quotes from one of his students?)
Gratitude
in Education: When students are thankful, they feel
more connected to their schools and teachers, explain researchers Jeffrey J.
Froh and Giacomo Bono.
Furthermore, Dr.Bono shares many of his findings in this video, outlining the
gratitude curriculum that he and Froh developed and the very positive impact it
had on the students who used it. As you survey Bono and Froh's work, consider
whether any of the ideas might also apply to your own life, even if you aren't
a parent or don't work with children.
Gratitude
at Work: In this next reading, Jeremy Adam
Smith suggests ways to overcome this
problem. Americans are less likely to say "thanks" on the job
than anywhere else, which hurts productivity and happiness. That needs to
change, says Jeremy Smith. As you read, consider: How can you incorporate these
research-based recommendations into your workplace?
Some
argue that there is considerable overlap between gratitude and happiness--in
other words, being grateful necessarily boosts happiness. According to the way
Dr. Emmons defines gratitude, do you think it's possible to be a grateful
person and not be happy? What are your thoughts?
Reflect.
Cultivating Gratitude
The
research on gratitude practices suggests that, while some people might
have a more grateful disposition than others from early in life, gratitude is a
learnable skill that you can improve over time. Cultivating Gratitude (Dr.Emiliana in this video describes
different techniques and the research behind cultivating gratitude).
Here are some ways we can develop gratitude on regular
basis as suggested by Dr.Emmons
and Dr.McCullough:
- Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your
relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing
your enjoyment and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send
it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit
of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write
one to yourself.
- Thank someone mentally. No time to write? It may help just to think about
someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the
individual.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down or share with a
loved one thoughts about the gifts you've received each day.
- Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write
about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are
grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five
things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and
think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.
- Pray. People
who are religious can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.
- Meditate. Mindfulness
meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment.
Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as
"peace"), it is also possible to focus on what you're grateful
for (the warmth of the sun, a pleasant sound, etc.). There is also gratitude meditation.
There
are various strategies suggested by different writers and researchers on
how to develop gratitude: Here are another 7 ways to cultivate more thankfulness. Learning how to appreciate the world around you,
develop these 6 exercises
and habits etc. Read this article to
discover some of the most popular gratitude exercises and activities, as well
as tips to cultivate your own gratitude practice.
I've
had some students and clients tell me that they have difficulty expressing
gratitude and that it is not their top strengths. If you are someone who is still
learning how to show gratitude, just like Jeremy Adam
Smith, check out some lessons he has
for you. Learn about the 6 habits of highly grateful people in his article.
Gratitude
in Romantic Relationships: Research
suggests that gratitude is a key ingredient in successful romantic
relationships, but actually expressing gratitude to a romantic partner can be
difficult. For example, it can be easy to take our partners for granted (e.g.,
not feel grateful), or we can be uncomfortable with the feelings of
indebtedness and vulnerability that saying thank you might bring up. In the
next video, Dr.Sara Algoe offers some tips for overcoming these barriers and
cultivating more gratitude in relationships. Algoe, As you watch this video,
consider some specific situations with your romantic partner--or a close
friend--in which you might apply some of the research-based tips that Algoe
offers. What are some regular challenges or conflicts in your relationship that
might be alleviated through more feelings and expressions of gratitude? Watch
her talk here.
Take
time to also read Dr.Pris's other blog on close
relationships and its connection to happiness. Her blog puts a
specific emphasis is on "marriage", but also covered parent-child
relationships and friendship relationships.
In
these two essays, relationship researcher Amie Gordon explains just why and how
gratitude makes a difference in romantic relationships--sparking more
satisfaction and dedication between partners. In the second, she tells us how
to do it. Four Ways to Make the Most of Gratitude on Valentine’s Day:
Whether February 14th is your first Valentine’s Day together or your 35th, it's
a great excuse to show gratitude for the one you love by Amie Gordon (article). Furthermore, she write another
article- Gratitude is
for Lovers: New research says thankfulness,
not romance, might be key to a happy Valentine's Day.
Researchers Jess
Alberts and Angela Trethewey have found that a
successful relationship doesn’t just depend on how partners divide their
household chores, but on how they each express gratitude for the work the other
one puts in.
Q: Are you grateful for your
partner’s household labor?
Him: Uh,
yeah, I guess so.
Q: How do you express it?
Him: She
just knows.
Does
gratitude make us lazy? Naive? Robert Emmons, debunks some common myths and
misconceptions in this article. As you read, consider: Had you bought
into any of these myths? Are you convinced by Dr. Emmons's arguments against
them?
If
you are curious to know more about gratitude, here are 10 Ted-Talks and 5 books on
gratitude. Let's end this Module with another interesting experiment video
on Gratitude (SoulPancake
Video).
******************************************************************
Let's Discuss: Reflection Questions
[Address these questions in a "COMMENT"]
NOTE: Make sure your answers 1-4 are all
grounded on the science within the content of the "readings" above.
Each of your responses in comments for the below 1-4 questions have to take the
readers back to the exact material from this blog-post. It's not about the
length as much it is about the depth. Quality of reflection and a balance
of personal stories with the science in the
readings is what I am looking for! Students, know that your opinions matter.
So, do not just go with the same responses as your peers. Be unique- Be YOU!
1. What is the significance of having a “healthy and
flourishing family”?
Point out at least 5 studies you’ve read that proposes the need
and the characteristics of a happy and flourishing family?
3. Having taken the "Attachment Styles and Close
Relationships Assessment" (or any other similar assessment), reflect on the following questions- How do you experience your
ability to trust others? How well do you manage the trust others place on you? What conclusions can you draw from your results to your current adult relationships? What potential for growth
do you see in your ability to connect deeply and fully with others?
4. From the readings above:
(i). List 3 reasons why gratitude works? Cite the source to
support your answers.
(ii) In the study described by Dr.Sara Algoe on "romantic
relationships" what are the results that stand out to you?
(iii) Describe what the "Compassion" researchers mention
about its connection to happiness.
5. You will post the answer to
this Question in the Discussion Forum (titled- "Known Gratitude
Practices") under Module-4 in Canvas. This is a challenge!
I am challenging each of you to go beyond the
"readings" now: Make a list of different gratitude exercises you
could possibly find from the general online search that are published by
researchers & writers. They may be from journal articles, blogs, websites,
videos, etc. Most importantly, You are required to list them along with a brief "description"
of those exercises and the
accurate "source" of
your information. Be sure to to include the link/citation next to it.
1. First of all, having a healthy and flourishing family is significant because that is what helps your attachment style. In the section titled "Attachment styles: causes and consequences", Dr. Dacher defines the three attachment styles which are secure, anxious, and avoidant. People with an anxious attachment style are more likely to have experienced divorce, abuse, or death of a parent. This is important because if those things happen to you, you probably do not have a healthy and flourishing family. Also, an important thing to point out is that people with secure attachment styles have warm, loving, and trusting relationships, and this all relates back to your family. Also, studies have found that people with a secure attachment style are happier. In Dr. Dacher's lecture on attachment styles he also pointed out some work done by John Bowlby. John Bowlby was influenced by Freudian thought and the power of deep attachments shaping how our mind looks at the social world. He also pointed out three systems that help us attach in our families which are reproductive systems, attachment systems, and caregiving systems. In healthy families, all of these systems are healthy. I'm also a strong believer that what our parents model to us and how they connect with us as small children will have a strong influence on how we connect with people throughout our life. I have a strong attachment style despite my parents going through a divorce and all of the fighting that led up to that. I think this could be because when I was a younger child and I was developing my attachment style my family was more healthy, and I felt more secure. I also think that when we have a healthy and flourishing family we are connected with our family. We talk to each other. Ed Diener and Martin Seligmen found that very happy people have rich and satisfying relationships and they don't spend as much time alone. I would say if you have an unhealthy family you would go home and eat dinner in separate areas and spend more time watching TV and on your phone and that would result in less happiness because you aren't getting deep connection at home. Time and time again it is found that deep and intimate relationships is connected with happiness, and isolation has a negative effect on wellbeing. In the article titled "Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness" it found that positive relationships in childhood are key to adult happiness. Social connectedness in childhood is shaped by your family, and this again points out the significance of having a healthy and flourishing family. Lastly, the article on oxytocin shows us that this hormone is released in moments of connectedness with our families and it has been linked to reducing stress, and helps bonds us to our families. We are first introduced to this hormone in our families and it helps us stay loyal, and corporative throughout life. So again, having a healthy and flourishing family is extremely important for people over their entire life.
ReplyDelete2. In the video "Secret of a happy family", the experiment was to ask children a series of questions, and then to ask the parents how they think their child responded to the questions. At the beginning of the video they point out that studies have shown that days before becoming a parent the neurons in your brain rewire to make you a better care giver. So the question of this video is what makes a happy family, and a good a parent? They found that being a good parent is not about the amount of time you spend with your child, but the quality of the time that you spend with them which goes back to your ability to stay present during your time with your kids. For me this just really made me think about the time I spend with everyone in my life and ask myself if I am present during those times. When thinking about it, I realized that sometimes I am really present, and sometimes I am really distracted by my phone or something. During my time with my loved ones I want to make sure my time with them is high quality and I am present. My take away from this video was to rid myself of distractions when spending time with people because you will never get that exact moment back, and you should soak it up while you can. It will result in both parties feeling more loved and connected. In the video "Gratitude", they started out by stated that scientist have found that the greatest contributing factor to what makes you happy is the amount of gratitude you show. In this experiment they had the subjects think about someone in their life who is really important to them and write about it, and then if they were able call the person the wrote about and read what they wrote. They showed that the subjects who expressed their gratitude showed an increased level of happiness. I think showing gratitude to people is so important. It shows that you are grateful for the people in your life. My take away from this video was to not be afraid to show gratitude, it makes you a happier person and it makes the other party feel good. It is a win win situation. In the video "What feeds our family?" they invited three families to talk about how connected they feel. At the end of the video they had the families sit down and have a meal together and watch the responses they had to the questions the y were asked. It showed that sitting down at the table with your family and having a meal with them is key to connectedness and the families in this experiment expressed wanting to continue to sit down together for a meal. My take away from this video is that we need to find a time to slow down and be with our families. Sometimes we are so busy we just eat in passing or while doing another activity, or in our own rooms. However, actually sitting down with our family will help us become more connected to them and create an environment where we have more conversation with them.
Delete3. According to the "attachment styles and close relationships" assessment I have a secure attachment style. On a scale of 1(low) to 7 (high) I scored a 1.61 for attachment related anxiety and a 1.44 on attachment related avoidance. This indicates that I have enduring and satisfying relationships. I am not surprised by these results. Throughout life I have gone through things that would make me not want to trust people, however I think plenty of research would backup the fact that attachment styles are more so developed during childhood. Dr. Dacher describes a securely attached person as one who easily gets comfortable with others, who is comfortable depending on others and doesn't worry about being abandoned or getting too close to people. I feel like this would describe me pretty well. Growing up I was always extremely shy, and that has eased up a little as I have gotten older, however I am still pretty shy. Being a shy person some might say that I don't seem comfortable opening up to others, but I would say that it isn't that I'm not comfortable. I'm just more introverted and slower to warm up. In terms of trusting others, I have no problem trusting people unless I am given a reason not to. I manage trust others place on me well, in my opinion. I always strive to keep my word on things and be honest. I would never want my family, significant other, or friends to feel like they couldn't trust me to do things for them or keep things to myself that they don't want told. I also feel like I'm pretty trusted in my work place because they give me a lot of responsibility. I feel like based on my results that I'm doing pretty decent in terms of my relationships given that I do have a secure attachment. I do have a little anxiety, as my results showed due to some situations I have been in. I think one thing I can work on is managing that anxiety so I don't worry and stress, so that ultimately I can live a happier life.
Delete4.
Delete(i) In Dr. Christine Carters lecture titled "why gratitude works" she gives us three explanations to why gratitude works. The first reason is because gratitude is associated with increased self-worth. This is because when you thank someone for something they must have incurred a cost for you, therefor you must be worth something. When our self-worth goes up, our life satisfaction goes up as well. Secondly, gratitude works because gratitude is a really social emotion. It tends to bond us to one another and make us feel more connected to one another. Connectedness is associated with greater happiness, thus so is gratitude. Lastly, gratitude works because when we are consciously practicing gratitude our brains tend to only take in things that are blessings. The more we count our blessings, the more we see them everywhere.
(ii) Gratitude is important in romantic relationships. It is so easy to get used to going through the motions and to get used to your romantic partner doing things for us that we forget to express how grateful we are for them and what they do. Gratitude goes a long way, though Dr. Algoe pointed out that gratitude motivates us to do things that bind us to our romantic partner. Dr. Algoe also pointed out that gratitude in relationships helps you notice your partners actions, that you don’t need to forget to show it because people who feel and show gratitude have better relationships, and to be genuine when you show it. For instance, if someone does something that you don’t like but you still thank them, that isn’t genuine.
(iii) Dr. Dacher talks about how compassion is a pathway to happiness in the video “the kindness-happiness loop”. He found that assisting others can actually extend your life. Being kind and helpful to others is also linked to things such as being less lonely. People who do things for others are found to have higher levels of happiness, specifically when you give things to others.
1. Having a healthy and flourishing family can increase the happiness levels of the family members. A study done by Ed Diener and Martin Seligman showed that people with strong social relationships exhibit higher levels of happiness. This would mean that the closer a family is and the more quality time they spend together, the happier they will be. Craig Olsson found that “positive social relationships in childhood and adolescence are key to adult well-being,” meaning that having a happy and flourishing family is beneficial to children because it will affect them positively as they grow older. The studies discussed in “Scratch a Happy Adult,” show that families can also increase happiness by nurturing their children’s social connections. Another study mentioned in Dr. Emiliana’s guest lecure by Danny Kahneman showed that when people recounted their daily experiences and how they made them feel, intimate relationships and socialization were the top two experiences associated with positive emotions that contributed to people’s happiness. Researchers at UCLA have also found that isolation and loneliness are often linked with painful emotions. Each of these studies imply that social relationships within the family are important. The closer a family is, the happier the members will be. Likewise, if a family is not close nor are they nurturing one another, there will likely be more loneliness and disconnectedness associated with the family. My own family is close with one another, and I believe that we are happier because we have strong social bonds together.
ReplyDelete2. I loved the SoulPancake videos. I enjoyed “What Feeds Our Family?” because each of the family members were able to express their gratitude and love for each other then watch what the others said, which was sweet to watch. My family doesn’t eat many meals sitting around the table together. Most of the time, we’re plugged in to our own technology and don’t talk much during meals. Sometimes we’re even in different rooms. It made me wish that we had more meals together at the kitchen table with real, face-to-face conversations and no technology to distract us. I also thought the “The Secret to a Happy Family” video was interesting. I was fascinated by how aware the kids were of some of their parents struggles and needs. A lot of them mentioned things like money struggles and how their parents’ jobs affected them. It’s easy to pass kids off as being young and not understanding that kind of thing, but kids are a lot smarter than I think we give them credit for sometimes. It can be good for kids to be aware of those kinds of things because then they can do something to help their parents out even if it’s just something small, and I think that is one way that children can contribute to the happiness levels of a family. As was mentioned toward the end of the video, spending quality time together is another thing that can lead to a happy family. Lastly, I think that having the general needs of the family met also increases happiness because as the video showed, when certain needs like financial needs are not fully met, it can affect the family and their happiness levels. I also loved the “Gratitude” video. The one thing that stuck out to me was the woman who wrote about her friend who lived in Britain, who she ended up calling at 4 in the morning. That made me think of my friend Sarah, who was a youth intern at my church in high school. Sarah was my mentor my senior year of high school, and she impacted my life in a huge way. She is from Germany, and at the end of my senior year, she went back to Germany, where she is now going to school. At the beginning of the video when they were writing their letters, I was thinking about how if I had done that experiment, I would have written mine about Sarah, so I found it both funny and heartwarming when the volunteer called her friend in Britain because I would have been in a very similar situation to her had I been a part of that experiment.
3. According to the Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Assessment, I have a secure attachment style. I am not surprised by this. I have always been a rather trusting person. It’s easy for me to trust my friends and family and to depend on them when I need to. I also think that I am a pretty trustworthy person. When people ask me to do something, they can be sure that I will get it done. Of course, I make mistakes occasionally, but I always try to keep my promises and come through for someone when I’ve said that I will. I do think that there is a connection between my early childhood and my current relationships. I was an incredibly shy child, so my closest relationships as a young child were with my parents. I relied on them for everything and was able to trust them to always be there for me. Now that I am older, I do think that has made me more trusting. When it comes to my relationships with my friends, I trust them to be there for me. On the survey, there were many questions about fearing being abandoned, but I don’t think that is something that I worry about anymore. There was a period of time in high school where I was afraid of making friends because all of the close friends I’d had had all moved away, or we’d drifted apart; I thought making friends was pointless because they all left. Now, however, I know that people leaving is a part of life, but just because they leave doesn’t mean that they’re abandoning me. Now that I have learned that, I am able to keep in touch with multiple of my friends who live in different parts of the world. I do think that I could do more to connect more deeply with others, especially in the early stages of relationships. It can be hard for me to connect with people when I first meet them, so finding a way to speed up that connection process could be beneficial to me, and it could increase my happiness levels by providing me with deeper social connections than before.
Delete4. (i) Christine Carter gives three reasons for why gratitude works in the video “Why Gratitude Works.” The first two reasons are that gratitude is associated with an increased self-worth, and it is a social emotion. The third reason is that when you are actively practicing gratitude, you begin to take in the information that is “a blessing,” meaning that when we’re practicing gratitude, we’re not focused on the hassles of life but the blessings.
(ii) One of the findings in Dr. Algoe’s video discussing gratitude in relationships that stood out to me was that “people who are embedded in more high-quality relationships actually live longer” and that the high-quality relationships can have as much of an affect on a person’s mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day can. I never would have imagined that expressing gratitude could have such an impact on mortality. I think that this shows that gratitude is not simply an emotion but that it is important to our overall well-being. I also found it interesting that not only do people who express gratitude in their relationships experience “better mental health outcomes” but so do their partners. This shows that practicing gratitude isn’t just beneficial to the person practicing it but that it can also impact the people in their life as well.
(iii) Compassion researchers have found that there are many ways that compassion and acts of kindness are related to happiness. In the video “The Kindness-Happiness Loop” with Dr. Dacher, he talks about volunteering as one way to show compassion that increases your health and well-being. Studies show that showing compassion and kindness to others leads to less loneliness and lower levels of depression, meaning that it can increase happiness levels. Another study performed by Elizabeth Dunn showed that giving to others is another way to increase happiness. Ultimately, the more a person practices kindness and compassion, the happier they will be.
1. Social relationships! That is what it is about when it comes to a family being happy and flourishing. Every researcher explains the importance of it. They each talk about what it does to a person and their family/partners. Having a healthy and flourishing family is very important socially wise. In “Why we feed” video, they had the children and the parents talk on what their parents or kids mean to them. Some kids told them that they wish that their dad would pay more attention to them; another said that their parent repeated a lot of things they had already said. Lines of communication are very much needed in a healthy and flourishing family which stems from the need of social relationships according to Dracher. Showing gratitude is another characteristic of a happy and flourishing family. Gratitude binds relationships according to Dr. Sara’s research. She explains that it gives lifelong expectancy, and who wouldn’t want that. Dr Dracher explains that with gratitude you are less lonely; you have a stronger immune system, with fewer aches and pains. You have less depression, and it also helps with heart disease, all this just by showing gratitude. Dr. Emiliana talks about Brene Browns quote which talks about the need for connections and that’s the root of happiness. She says that it gives us meaning and purpose in life. She brings in “Flow” where Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi comes up with referring to talking with friends. Studies show that when you ask people what they are doing on a day to day basic helps contribute to their happiness. Dr. Dracher tells us about John Bowlby who talks about human attachment and what are healthy or not. He talks about three different systems that help us attach. Secure (Loving, and warm), Anxious (worried and intrusive), and Avoidant (Cruel and dismissive). He then tells us about pair bonds which is the reproductive system (emotions, behaviors), attachment system (love and devotion), and also a care giving system, about how babies and adults connect; that is through touch and eye contact during care giving. Research shows that it goes all the way back to childhood. A study showed that children were more likely to become happy adults. According to Laurens Research article on socially connected child hood, research states, “kids who did well in school and those who had a rich network of connections were happier as adults than those who suffered academically and felt alienated from friends.” It is important to develop relationships as young as you can. When I was younger I thought if I just didn’t have my friend I was not going to make it. Dramatic, yes I know, but after reading this research I don’t feel that it was dramatic, but it is beneficial to happiness then, and also later on in life.
ReplyDelete2. When watching the “secret of happy family video, I discovered that kids don’t always express their gratitude for the parents during their daily lives. Sometimes the parents probably feel like their unappreciated and that no one pays attention to their struggle. I noticed that each of these kids were thankful for what their parents do for them. Specifically in the SoulPancake video, the dad who had a band was thankful for their walks together in the morning and so was the kid. According to Dr. Philip gratitude enhances social relationships, and I do believe that is true. I say that because I have seen firsthand of people who live paycheck to paycheck that have a good group of friends who are happier than people who are more fortunate when it comes to money who are shown not to be as happy. Why is that? It is because of the social interactions the others have. We have to show that we care about others and the things they do for us. There are certain times when you go to buy things at the checkout and they ask if you would like to donate money to some organization, and I always donate. It’s sad that kids or adults go through health problems, so therefore I am extremely thankful that it isn’t me.
I donate because that could be me, or could’ve been me. I really do feel happier after I donate because my character is helping people. In “what feeds our family” video, I really embraced the family talk over food. Every since I can remember growing up every Sunday we would eat at my Gran’s and Papa’s house and we would conversate if we weren’t too busy eating. Now that my papa is gone we don’t do that, and I sure would give anything to be doing that again. I use to look forward to that; I never really knew the importance of it until it no longer existed. I really connected to the family eating at the table one of them saying that they wished they did that more, and I say I wish I had that back. I found that expressing gratitude will make you a happy person. The exercise they were to do was to write about a person that they were grateful for and then call them to read what they wrote. Watching this video made me cry because people need to hear how they impacted others lives while they are living. When they did here what they had to say about them the ones I could hear they were happy, and you could hear the emotions and gratitude expressed back to the other person. I take from this video, expressing my gratitude to the people who mean a lot to me.
Delete3. When talking the survey it showed that I have a secure attachment lifestyle. I find that a little shocking because I thought mine would have been more on the anxious side, but because it was the people I know and love, I could see where it showed secure. I have been let down a lot of times especially when I was younger and my parents telling me I was going to get to do things and I wound up not doing them, it hurt. I experience my ability to trust others by just letting go of fear. I know I am independent so if anything does fall through I know that I have my own back, so I trust. I trust that they will do their part, but then again I trust myself more because I know I can trust myself. I hate being let down, so I know better than to let others down. I make sure that the person knows that I am a trustworthy person by my actions. Do I feel there is a valid connection between my attachment relationship and current relationship styles? Absolutely, since my attachment relationship was secure it shows that I had high levels of commitment and satisfaction, but it was a little low on investment. I don’t always like to be open, but I do know that is healthier in my life. How can a person help me if I’m struggling in an area if I don’t allow myself to open up? In Dr. Dacher’s video he states that the secure attachment lifestyle, they showed greater life satisfaction, and they were more easily to forgive. I know that I can grow more in learning how to open up more with others, I never know how much I can benefit from them.
4. I.) Christine Carter talks about the importance of gratitude and she said that gratitude is associated with increasing self worth (1). It also builds social connection (2), and people who show gratitude they only take in information that are blessings to them. In this instance it is kind of like gratitude is our protection or defense mechanism. It only absorbs the good thought so that way we can remain happy people. According to Jeremy Smith’s article about gratitude he talks about it helping the workplace environment, he stated in his findings that people said “…that saying “thank you” to colleagues “makes me feel happier and more fulfilled”” Why does gratitude work again? That is because we are social beings and by being social we have to show gratitude towards one another. Then 3 emotions; we invest our emotions into this such as our jobs, and work affects our emotional states. Several studies have shown depression to be inversely correlated to gratitude. It seems that the more grateful a person is, the less depressed they are.
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Deleteii. What stood out to me was finding out that gratitude acts as a booster shot. Studies showed that just by the partner expressing some gratitude the other partner felt happier in their relationship. We have to notice our partner’s actions, and express how thankful we are that they did what they did no matter how big or small. Dr. Sara Algoe also explains that if you are in a romantic relationship if one person expresses gratitude, then their partner expresses it as well. This takes me to when I mentioned before about mirroring feeling on to one another. Dr. Sara states that it’s good to express gratitude when we feel it. She states that expressing gratitude and feeling it, people felt better than those who felt gratitude and didn’t express. Tell a person how much you appreciate them, “If you feel it, don’t forget to show it.” She then touches on her topic “be genuine”, if something doesn’t go as planned or right, be genuine enough to express gratitude that at least they went out of their way to do something for you. Whatever the case may be having good relationships helps you mentally and physically as well as longevity.
Deleteiii. Dr. Dracher talks about the connection between compassion and happiness and he states that it enhances your well being and overall life expectancy. If you are happy it’s easy to engage in healthy habits, and by doing so you decrease your stress levels. When you boost your happiness you are more likely to help others in need by having compassion for them and if you do that then that improves your relationships with them also (Kindness). I find that to be true I remember when I use to watch my friends sell Girl Scout cookies. You could always tell if a person was going to by them or not just by how happy they looked, you could really pinpoint who was going to buy or not just by how they looked. Then once they did buy they almost always looked happy when they left. Maybe it was because as soon as they got in the car they were going to open up a package of their favorite cookies or that they just donated to a good cause. Either way they were happy.
1. The significance of having a healthy and flourishing family is that it can make family members happier, and also appreciate the time they spend together. The first source that I think is great for this topic would be the SoulPancake video on on the secret to a happy and flourishing family. The focus in this video showed how most parents and children realized that good quality time leads to a happy and flourishing family. Attachment is also a major part of a families flourishment. In Dr. Dacher’s video on ultra-sociality, he talked about humans being hyper-coordinated meaning that we imitate those who raise us, so if a parent is happy and shows it to their child, the household is more likely to be more positive. John Bowlby talked about three systems of attachment. The one that is best fitted that I think was the caregiving system. This system is very responsible in starting and building connections between parents or a caregiver and children. If a person has a strong caregiving system they are more likely to have a happier and flourishing family. Sigmund Freud also had a belief in things called working models which are these deep assumptions that you carry from first life moments about how trustworthy the people raising you are. This study made a lot of sense. I think that most kids trust their parents to a certain point, but it is the parents who keep building this trust who will have the most flourishing families. Dr. Dacher also talks about three attachment styles, secure, anxious, and avoidant. Secure is the best style for a happy and flourishing family because the attachments are loving, warm, trusting, and lead to greater happiness. For me, I think that the most important thing for a happy and flourishing life would be trustworthiness and good, quality family time.
ReplyDelete2.I absolutely loved these videos. I think they are very creative and in several of the cases quite heartwarming. I thought the episode on gratitude was really interesting. I thought about how when the people were starting to write they did not seem very emotional, it seemed like a normal thing for them. When they were told they were going to be calling this person, they got really nervous.I found it very interesting when most of the people who actually talked on the phone got emotional. I think it goes back to social contact and how important it is. This is a really cool exercise that I think would be awesome to try. I know that I get emotional when I am talking to people I love and respect so I know how hard it is. I liked the what feeds a family video a lot because it allowed for the families to actually share their feelings in a way that they weren’t expecting. The fact that it was during a meal was even better because it opened up their eyes to the idea that spending time together is a good thing. I think my family slacks on this sometimes. We are all super busy, but it does make us appreciate the time we do have together. The video on “to be a happy and flourishing family” was great to me because it emphasized time and also an aspect of ultra-sociality that Dr. Dacher talks about. At the end of this video about everyone was saying that time was the most important thing to the families, but not just the amount of time, but the quality of the time. I try to focus on this in my life because now that I live out of the house 3/4ths of the year, I treat all of the time with my family special. I was fascinated by how much the kids picked up about their parents. They knew about money issues, they knew about life issues, and I think this correlates to Dr. Dachers point that we are a hyper coordinated species, we mimic those who take care of us. We are impressionable at a young age and that is why so often we are like our parents. I know I am haha.
3. I experience my ability to trust others in my everyday life, especially through my friends and family. For the most part I choose the right people to trust because I do not take it lightly. For this reason, I really feel like I experience trust quite often and I am pretty content with it. I am a very trustworthy person, I like to think of myself as a person who people can go to for a talk with absolutely no regrets about the talk. I feel like people should go by the rule “trust others as you want to be trusted.” I have healthy adult relationships, I think that I may need to be more open minded about things. I like to think of myself as very open minded, but some of my results came back saying that I may need to work on this aspect of my life. I think that if I work on my open mindedness, it would be easier for people to talk to me. Also I may not be as serious about things as I should be so maybe if I adjust that I will be able to better connect deeply with others.
Delete4(I) 4(i) In Robert Emmons article called “Why Gratitude Is Good,” he shares data that after studying over 1000 people aged from 8 to 80, the research shows that those who practice gratitude physically have stronger immune systems, are less bothered by aches and pains, have lower blood pressure, exercise more and take better care of their health, and sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking. In the same article, we see that psychologically, those who practice gratitude have higher levels of positive emotions, are more alert, more alive and awake, have more joy and pleasure, and exhibit more optimism and happiness. Again this research shows that those who practice gratitude are socially more helpful, generous, and compassionate,
more forgiving, more outgoing, and feel less lonely and isolated. So from this article, we see that gratitude positively affects people physically, psychologically, and socially.
4(ii) In Dr. Sara Algoe’s first video which was less focused on romantic relationships, and more focused on close relationships, those who have healthy and long lasting relationships seem to live longer and healthier lives. They live longer by the same amount of time as someone who smokes 15 cigarettes a day. This stuck out to me. In her video on romantic relationships, there were two things that stood out to me. The first being that when one partner shows gratitude to the other both of them feel happier and thus the relationship is better. The other is that relationship satisfaction actually declines over time. This was surprising at the time I watched it, but made more sense to me after I thought about it.
4(iii) Compassion researchers have found that the more kindness and compassion that you show others, the happier you are. For example, Dr. Elizabeth Dunn did a study in which she gave half of a group $20 to give away to someone, and then she gave $20 to the other half to buy something for themselves. The results show that those who gave their money away had their happiness rise over the course of the day. For those who spent it on themselves, their happiness actually decreased over the course of the day. I experience this in my life. I always feel happier and
fulfilled when I choose to give to others instead of doing things that may only benefit myself.
Delete1. The significance of having a “healthy and flourishing family” is that the people who are involved in that family will be happier than those who do not have a healthy family because you are socially connected to others in a healthy way. The SoulPancake videos, “What Actually Feeds a Family,” and “The Secret to a Happy Family” show that dependable and present parents, and communication can lead to a healthy family. The study from Dr. Dacher’s “Causes and Consequences of Attachment Styles” video shows that having a healthy secure attachment can contribute to having a cohesive family. In the article, “Scratch a Happy Adult, Find a Socially Connected Childhood” the author says that children will be happier in adulthood if they have positive social connections “They found, generally, that those kids who did well in school and those who had a rich network of connections were happier as adults than those who suffered academically and felt alienated from friends.” In another article, “Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness” they talk about something similar to the previous article and that is “...researchers found, on the one hand, a strong pathway from child and adolescent social connectedness to adult well-being. This illustrates the enduring significance of positive social relationships over the lifespan to adulthood.”
ReplyDelete2. I thought the SoulPancake videos were relatable and interesting. The videos provide useful information and they give the audience real life families to that they would appeal and relate to. I felt that I could relate to the “What Actually Feeds A Family?” video, I feel that often my family is disconnected with my dad being in the military. He is often gone for long periods of time and he misses out on so much in our lives however, this video shows that the family needs to communicate with other so that conversations can be started to keep the family healthy. The “Secret to a Happy Family” video was also really relatable for personal reasons and also what I’ve learned in previous classes here at HSU. Researchers show that kids know when the household is stressed and tensed. I think this video shows that the kids can pick up on what their parents are going through, and that spending more time together bonding is important for the family structure. The “Gratitude” video was really interesting because it shows real people doing a gratitude exercise that made themselves and others they feel the most connected to feel good and happy. The exercise even made me feel good inside because of the responses the other people on the line gave, and because of the reasons for why they picked a that specific person for the exercise. I think the purpose of the video is to do just that, to show that showing gratitude makes you happy, and that showing gratitude towards others makes them happy.
3. After taking the attachment styles and close relationships assessment, I scored around a three on both anxiety and avoidance. I believe that I tend to trust people before I doubt them and if I do doubt them, I don’t necessarily take action on that until I am forced to (I’m not sure what you would call that). I think that I manage the trust others place on me pretty well, I try my best to keep all my relationships pretty secure and comfortable. At times I do feel overwhelmed and I feel some anxiety when things are rocky, the SoulPancake video shows that whenever an issue in a relationship arises, communication can help bond that disconnect and I think I can do that efficiently. However, I only do this when the relationship is mutual, sometimes (hopefully you can relate) the “relationship” is one sided and in those situations, I am not a reliable person for that person on the other side of the relationship. From what I can draw from my current relationships, is that communication is key for everyone involved and I do see high potential growth in my ability to connect deeply and fully with others just because of the point I am in my life. Which, just means in college you truly do find lifelong relationships with others.
Delete4. In Christine Carter’s “Why Gratitude Works” video she mentions three reasons for why gratitude works. One way gratitude works is by associating itself with self-worth, so this means that expressing gratitude increases self-worth by showing a person that they are worth something because someone was willing to do a cost for them. The second way that gratitude works is because it is a social emotion, and that’s beneficial because it bonds people together by connecting them. The third way is by practicing gratitude, people tend to focus more on the positives rather than the negatives or the struggles. I can really relate to the third way through experience, the happier I am, the less likely I am to focus on the negative or things that usually worry me. I remember going to camp to bond with the other PAL kids and because I was so happy, I was never nervous about some of the things I had to do, which included performing in front of people, and taking on leadership positions (I allowed myself to be blindfolded by my team and that was fun). In Dr. Sara’s video on romantic relationships, the result that stood at to me the most was that relationships can improve physical health at the same magnitude that smoking has on physical health. I think that is outstanding in many ways, I also like that it isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships but to other kinds of relationships as well. In the “Kindness-Happiness Loop” video, when researchers mention compassion and its connection to happiness, they are talking about how kindness can help improve your quality of life and provide many benefits. Kindness improves things because it increases happiness and the more you do it, the happier you feel, and the better you feel, the more you do it.
1. In, “Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness” researchers analyzed 804 people over a 32-year period and found that there was a strong connection between child and adolescent social connectedness and well-being in adulthood. In the article, “Scratch a Happy Adult, Find a Socially Connected Childhood” the author discusses a research study done on 804 people from childhood through adulthood to measure the importance of social and academic pathways in connection to well-being in adulthood (the same study as mentioned above). The researchers asked questions such as, “To what extent do you communicate, trust in, or feel alienated from parents and peers?”. This article expands on the previous one and stated that their findings “illustrates the enduring significance of positive social relationships.”. Therefore, those who have a well-nourished network of connections in their lives end up being happier than those who do not. A major factor in having a network of connections is a person’s connection to their own family. This study further supports that taking the time to nurture connections with one another, especially within families, is a key component to a happy and flourishing family and life. In the video, “Causes and Consequences of Attachment Styles” Dr. Dacher references Bowlby’s attachment styles and its importance in family life. Based on Dr. Dacher, the quality of our family ties is as important in determining someone’s happiness as any social connection! Therefore, while social connection in relation to our friends is a very important factor, the connection and type of relationship we have with our family is extremely important in determining someone’s amount of happiness and flourishing in life. Furthermore, when Dr. Dacher references Bowly, he noted that there are 3 systems that play a major role in how we attach to our families: reproductive systems, attachment systems, and caregiving systems. When a family is flourishing properly all of these systems are practiced in a healthy way. When the systems are healthy, secure attachment can be the result. Those who show a secure style of attachment show to be the happiest! Therefore, having a healthy understanding of each system and making sure to nourish it properly is so important for fostering a secure attachment and a healthy family life that is full of flourishing! In the video, “An Experiment in Gratitude” the main researcher decided to try out an experiment based on a previous study. They had people write a letter to those who meant a great deal to them, then as a twist had them call them and read them the letter they had just written! In conclusion, they found that those who actually picked up the phone and were able to make the phone call to the person they wrote their letter to produced increases in happiness between 4 and 19 percent. This study was so simple but carried so much significance. Simply telling those who impact us how much we care for and love them not only benefits them, but significantly increases our own happiness. This only further illustrated just how important it is for our own flourishing to practice gratitude and stress the importance of the relationship to the people who mean the most to you, and a lot of times that is our own family.
ReplyDelete2. I felt that the experiment in “secret of a happy family” video was extremely revealing for the parents and illustrates just how important a parent’s relationship with their children truly is. It is very apparent based on the kids answers and parent’s response that kids pick up on way more than anyone anticipates them to. For instance, when the researcher asks the children to answer what their wish for their parent would be and one child says to have a happier dad, her dad was noticeably flustered by this and then admitted that he has been having some ups and downs. Although the parents were very confident in their children and seemed to understand that they were more intuitive than they knew, they all still seemed to be very interested and moderately surprised by their children’s answers! A major take away from this video for me is that even though parents may not always get to spend every moment with their children that they want to, what truly matters is the quality of the interactions that they make with them. One father in the video mentioned that his favorite time to spend with his son was the 12-15 minutes they had together as he walked him to school. To me, this video really stressed the importance of making that connection with their children and showing them just how important that interaction is in their own children’s lives. In the “what actually feeds a family?” video, the message was so powerful. It is so easy to become disconnected from one another, especially family, in this day and age with the amount of technology we have in our lives. This video really illustrated how important it is to gather together with our family and TALK to each other! Everyone in this video had things they wanted to express to each other but given the patterns we tend to get into we can lose sight of how vitally important it is for us and our family members to have an allotted time carved out for each other to spend time together and talk about their lives and their day. The key take away from this video is that being connected to one another and getting to talk about how we feel on a regular basis is detrimental for the flourishing of our relationships and personal health. The video, “An Experiment in Gratitude” was so very touching! I do not think we understand just how much we impact those around us. Each person on the receiving end of the phone calls in this video seemed surprised, but more than anything they seemed so very touched and loved. Additionally, the person who called to tell the other how much they meant to them seemed profoundly impacted by this exercise, and as the video noted, they increased in their happiness between 4 and 19 percent. A key take away from this video is that it is necessary to our own happiness and well-being to express our love and gratitude to those in our lives. Not only are we nurturing the relationship, but we are helping foster our own happiness in the long run! We need to tell those that we love how much we love them and why, I feel that as imperfect humans we desperately NEED to feel love and to know that we matter to those we love in this world.
Delete3. This assessment was extremely interesting and revealing! I am a very trusting person when it comes to others and I seem to manage the trust put on me very well, but I tend to feel that I cannot always trust the other person that had put their trust in me. Based on my assessment of my relationships, I have a lot of trust and security when it comes to my relationships with my family, but I tend to feel as though others in my life do not reciprocate the dependence I provide to them and tend to worry that I may not mean that much to them. I feel that I see an opportunity for growth in my close friendships. Although I do admittedly feel like I do not mean as much to a lot of my friends the way they matter to me, I feel that I am being slightly irrational. I feel that through more effort-full talks and attempts to connect on a deeper level it will be revealed to me that my anxieties are not soundly based. I feel that I have a great opportunity to finally get rid of those doubts that I have never addressed and strengthen the quality of my friendships.
Delete4. (i). In the video by Christine Carter, “Why Gratitude Works” she explains that so much research has been correlated with a happier life! First, gratitude is associated with increased self-worth. When we simply say thank you to someone for doing something for us we are actively acknowledging that they have incurred a cost for us and if someone was willing to do that, we therefore must be worth something! This type of thinking helps boost our self-worth and our satisfaction with life. Secondly, gratitude is a very social emotion. Therefore, when we express gratitude to someone or experience gratitude from another we in turn feel very connected to that person; “the more connected we feel to the people around us the more happier we tend to be”. Lastly, by consciously practicing gratitude we begin to start to only take in the information in our lives that are blessing to us and tend to focus less on the negative or stressful things that are coming at us.
Delete(ii) In the video, “How Does Gratitude Affect Romantic Relationships?” Dr. Sara Algoe talks about various studies about romantic relationships. The results that stood out most to me was that when one individual in the relationship said that they felt more grateful after interacting with their partner, the other partner independently reported feeling better about the relationship than the day before, therefore coming to the conclusion that simple everyday gratitude can act as a “booster shot” in romantic relationships. This stands out to me because the act is so very simple but yields very positive results. One thing I have been consciously paying attention to in my life and trying to be consciously grateful for are all the little things that occur and knowing that something as little and simple as that can help improve the entire feel of the relationship is amazing to me!
(iii) In the video, The Kindness-Happiness Loop” Dr. Dacher explains the connection between compassion and happiness. Compassion is practiced through kindness and practicing compassion can result in a longer and happier life. He references study findings in the video that illustrate just how beneficial compassion is in aiding our happiness: “Less loneliness: stronger immune system, better health overall (Post,2005)”, “People who volunteer have fewer aches and pains, less depression, better overall health (Post, 2005)”, and “Helping others protects from heart disease-twice as much as aspirin (Post & Neimark, 2007)”. Therefore, compassion comes in many forms and when we practice compassion and kindness towards others we increase our own happiness!
1. The significance of a healthy and flourishing family is it is the foundation of your relationships in the future. Dr. Selvaraj and Dr. Dacher both explained about the different attachment styles and how they affect your happiness because of our need for social connectedness. The way we are raised and how happy our family is in a way determines what kind of attachment we will have with people. Heidelberg wrote in his article that early relationships are the key to happiness as an adult. Having child and adolescent connectedness (for example a happy and flourishing family) has a positive effect on the happiness of the person later on in life which makes a flourishing family important. Klein also had a similar article discussing the importance of a connected childhood stating “ A happy life is much more about making friends than it is about making the grade” emphasizing the importance of connectedness which is provided in a happy and flourishing family.
ReplyDelete2. I really enjoyed the soulpancake videos, because they are genuine and practical videos that show us actual people and their reactions. In the secret to a happy family it was cool to see how they kids were connected In a way with their parents that they were able to answer questions such as what would be the one wish the parent had and many of them were on the same page with their parents. In the what feeds a family I enjoyed seeing how they all craved more social interaction with each other and just have genuine time together without technology and the ability to be completely open with each other over a family style meal. In the Gratitude video they talked about who is important to them and write it down, and then call the person and it was cool to see how they reacted when told to call them. They were a little hesitant at first but to hear their reactions while talking to them was very eye opening and emphasized our need for connectedness with people and being open.
3. After taking the attachment style test, I was not surprised with the results. I have a close/secure relationship with my Fiancé and best friend, but an avoidant relationship with my parental figure. I overall am not a very trusting person it takes me a lot to be able to openly trust people, however, I have a lot of people who trust me that I am able to manage well and keep their trust. A way I can grow and connect more deeply is reconciling issues and building trust and a more secure attachment style with my parental figure.
4. (i) Emmons gives us many examples of how gratitude can help in hard times. Research says gratitude also helps us cope with crisis. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress. The article that gives 31 gratitude exercises tells us that gratitude has been proven to Help you make friends, improve your physical health and Improve your psychological health. (ii) What stuck out to me was that we often overlook and don’t notice the little things our romantic partners do for us. Also having gratitude helps us take advantage of a situation right in front of us and it motivates and helps us make gestures that help us bond with our partners. I never thought about how big of an impact gratitude could have on a relationships especially a romantic relationship. This study was very interesting, but I think it would be interesting to see the correlation of distressed relationships and the gratitude. (iii) Dr. Dacher discussed the effect kindness has and how it relates to our over all health and happiness. 31% of people are volunteering which is a way of showing kindness which has been studied to show that it enhances our over all well being and life expectancy. Showing kindness and compassion not only helps others, but makes us healthier and live longer. It also helps us psychologically by being less lonely, lower depression and it helps us physiologically by having less pain, better immune system and less heart disease rates.
1. Dr. Emiliana talks about the purpose we have here is to be connected with each other and the effects it has on us in a positive way
Delete2. The videos with the kids talking about their family conectedness and such reminded me of two things: my own family, and the kids I teach at Sunday school (1st and 2nd grade). It reminded me of my family because some of the answers they gave are the same answers I would give looking back at that age and strong connection I had with my family. It reminded me of my Sunday school class because we did a similar thing with them last fall where we asked them a series of questions about how interactive their families are and if they are close or not and it was sad to see that 2/3 of my class had very disconnected families and they craved the love and affection and attention of a normal family.
1) the significance of having a healthy and flourishing family is that the members of the family value each other are integrated and expressed in their personal growth and the growth of each other. The significant of having a flourishing family is that the family is unified and have self-acceptance. Growth as a family, purpose, they have an attitude of acceptance which is huge.
ReplyDelete1 “what feed family” this is the first it shows the need for a happy and flourishing family and why we need it and what it does.
2. “early relationships not brainpower, key to adult happiness” it talks about how there is a connection between children adolescent social connectedness and wellbeing in some adults.
3 “the secret of a happy family” this shows us what makes family’s happy. This also why it’s needed
4. Dr. Selvaraj explains the different attachment styles and how they can affect our happiness because of out need of social connection in our lives. We need social connection it really affects our life and can make a huge different in anyone’s life.
5 “Gratitude” video talks about the importance of showing gratitude and how it can be done and how each person must show it and it will make you a happier. It will also make more connected with people.
2) The videos by Soulpancake were really good videos they showed a lot of different things that go from families to the gratitude experiment they did no people. These videos have a lot of great take away. The videos have a lot of great information attached to them.
Key take ways:
“secret of happy family”
1. First highlight is how they put the children in a different room to answer questions without the parent it makes them more honest and makes them more open to answer personal question. This is amazing and crazy how the children say their families are disconnected.
2. It’s insane how families are divided now these days not only the families in the video but the families in our society today.
3. the children only thought that the parents most importance for them were there grades but in reality the cared about a lot more stuff such as who they are as people and individuals in the future and they wanted them to be happy.
“Gratitude”
1. A key take away I took was that when they people were told to call the person they wrote a letter about and influenced them the most. They were kind of freaked out but during the call you could tell they got happier and teared up because of the gratitude they had for these people.
2. You could also tell the people on the phone they felt loved and loved the fact that they were being told how influenced they are by them, and how they are important to them.
3. the people that actually picked up the phone and personally expressed their gratitude, increase in happiness was between 4 and 19 percent. Expressing your gratitude will make you a happier person.
“what feeds our family”
1. A take away I took was at the beginning of the video where he talks about the neurons in the brain when you become a parent they rewire themselves to make a better caregiver which is insane and is crazy I never knew that happened to the brain when people have children. Parents grow new brain cells to help make the shift from “me” to “we”.
2.it crazy how some of the aren’t knew what their children answered showing that they spend a lot of with them or even some time with them.
3. The fact that the children know what is wrong with their parents is great because it shows how much they pay attention to the environment around them and they fact that they believe in their parents and they worry about their parent.
3) I am able to trust people very well because in the past people have been really trust worth and I don’t have trust issues. I manage the trust others put in me my always being trust worth and never letting people down because I would not want to do that to a person and have the same thing happen to me. It’s like don’t do something to someone what you wouldn’t want happen to you. Yes, I feel that there is a big connection because I can trust many people and never really worried because I am also very careful on who I trust because some people you can tell are not trust worth or they have done something to someone so you know they ant be trusted. I feel as if I can grow a bit more with trusting my father because he has let me down countless times and I have just gone way from trusting him but now I think I can grow and try my best to work with him and try trusting him with some of the stuff I ask him.
ReplyDelete4) (i) 1. Gratitude makes people feel more committed to their relationships this is from Dr. Sara Algoe’s “romantic relationship”
2. Gratitude works because it lets us celibate the present, it magnifies positive emotions. This comes from Robert Emmons “Why Gratitude works”
3. Gratitude works because it helps and shapes our general wellbeing. It also has a lot of social benefits such as amplifies the good in one’s life this is from Philip Watkins’s “the social benefits of gratitude”
(ii) a result that stood out for me from Dr. Sara Algoe “romantic relationship” was when she talked about people that express gratitude and feel it are more committed to their relationship, they feel better about them even more than the people that feel gratitude but don’t express it this was a result that stood out to me the most.
Another result that stood out was the result that overtime, even for couples who stay together for decades, relationship satisfaction actually decreases this is crazy.
Another result is the result of people feeling go up and down about their partner from one day to the next, even in this really satisfaction sample. That is crazy how much people view change through th days.
(iii) the experiment gave people 20 dollars to do what they wanted with it either use it on them self’s or give it to somebody. Research found that the people that gave were happier that the people that kept the money. So giving gives you a bigger happiness benefit. So it shows that showing compassion toward others will make you a happier person because making others happy makes you happier than making your self happy.
1.The study with the article titled, Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness, the first line in it says, “Positive social relationships in childhood and adolescence are key to adult well-being, according to Associate Professor Craig Olsson from Deakin University and the Murdoch Children's Research Institute in Australia, and his colleagues.” The significance of having a “healthy and flourishing family” is that it is the key to adult well-being. Plus, it helps your family feel happy and more of a unit.
ReplyDeleteIn the “Secret of happiness” video I found that it is important to have quality time to have a healthy and flourishing family. The second study was the “what feeds our family” video it shows that connectiveness is needed to have a happy and flourishing family. The third is the “gratitude” video showed how much it impacts someone’s happiness to show/tell someone how grateful you are. I think it is important for the kids and the parents to know how grateful they are for the things they do. The fourth is in the “Links between Social Connection and Happiness” video where they talked about how engaging in meaningful and social interactions brings happiness and connectiveness to a person. I think that this goes back on how quality time is important. The fifth study is what I found in the attachment styles assessment. I think a big part of that assessment talked about how it is important to be able to feel open and secure in relationship. Also, not feeling abandoned and being able to have trust. I think these are also important things that help us have a healthy and flourishing family.
2. I really love all these videos. In the “secret of happiness” video it was cool to see how some of the parents thought their kid would respond to certain questions. The highlight of this video is that some of the parents didn’t realize that quality time with their child is what they needed the most out of their parents. The lady with the older boy said that he wanted more quality time with her and she didn’t even realize that he even wanted that. This video was trying to tell us that the secret to having a happy family is spending quality time with each other. The video about “gratitude” was an emotional video. I think it was cool being able to see the impact of telling someone how grateful you are affects your happiness. The highlight of this video is that showing gratitude or telling someone how grateful you are can make you happier. The video of “what feeds our family” shows the importance of showing love in a family and how important communicating is. I thought it was nice to see the parents and the kids say nice things about each other and things they may need to change. The highlight of this video is that giving each other quality time and connectiveness helps make the family better.
3. My ability to have trust in others is high. I usually trust people pretty easily. Even if something bad happens and they break my trust I give them more chances. I’m a pretty good at managing the trust people give to me. I am a trustworthy person. I’ve had good experiences in trusting other people I feel like it isn’t hard to give that trust back. My results on this test was that I fall into the secure region. I am very secure in my relationships. I usually have pretty good relationships with people. I don’t really feel insecure or have anxiety in my relationships. I do think that I could probably work on being able to be a little more secure in romantic relationships. I’ve had bad experiences with one of my romantic relationships and I say it didn’t affect me, but it did. I think if I can get past that or learn from it and be able to not feel so anxious in romantic relationships I think that it could make those kinds of relationships more secure and enjoyable.
4. (i) In Christine Carter’s video “Why Gratitude Works” she mentions three reasons why gratitude works. The first reason is that “gratitude is associated with increased self-worth.” The second reason that she mentions is that “it’s a really social emotion.” The third reason is that “when we start to habitually count our blessings we start to not see the hassles that are coming at us.”
Delete(ii) I think the most important result in Dr. Sara Algoe’s study that stood out to me is that it is important to show gratitude for the little things. Sometimes when I think of gratitude I think of the big romantic gestures and it is interesting that it is better to have gratitude for the little things and to not get too much into your head about it.
(iii)In the “The Kindness-Happiness Loop” video is that there are a lot of evidence that shows that people who volunteer and are caring or in a caring occupation have lots of benefits. Some of the benefits is that it “giving gives you a bigger happiness benefit”. Another thing that was said was that “if you practice and train your mind to kind of be kinder towards others you see a rise in daily experiences of positive emotions. The last thing that was mentioned in the is video is that generosity gives this warm glow that happiness feeling feeds into further acts of compassion and kindness.
1. As you can tell after watching and reading all the having a family that is healthy and flourishing can impact you life in an extraordinary way. I chose five different points that help back up why having a healthy flourishing family can have a positive impact on your life. In the video “Social Connection and Happiness” Dr. Emiliana mentioned a Brene Brown who stated that “Connection is why were here, it’s what gives us purpose.” I think that connections have a bigger role on our lives than what we tend to see with our own two eyes. Connections and good social relationships could possibly be the key to helping us achieve the happiness that we all desire! The video hits you pretty hard when she mentions how being social can increase your happiness and while people who are lonely do not have the same amount of happiness. For me that is hard because I am an introvert with a small side of extrovert. I like to be alone and doing my own thing but I also like to be around my peers (not crowds and large groups), but my closest friends. And I do agree with her, when I am around my friends I am happier, more joyful and more outgoing, but when I am alone I could still feel that way, just not the full 110% I felt with my friends.
ReplyDelete-Second, in the article “Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness” they do a great job at talking about how having a positive social development at a young age can help in the long run. They say that having relationships early on, positive relationships can impact a child’s life all the way to adulthood. Personally I think most of that is true, I came from a positive, encouraging family that was always supportive and from that I learned how to communicate and socialize better. I think that coming from a home that is strong, and you have those connections and close relationships it is easier to make other connections outside of your family.
-Third, I think that coming from a healthy and flourishing family you also have that push in yourself to do better than your parents in a healthy way of course not in an unhealthy way. All parents want their children to be better than they are, they want them to succeed and make a better life for themselves. For me, I didn’t come from a broken home, my dad has a good job and we live a happy life, but they still push me to strive to be better than they are. And they don’t just mean by having a better job and more money, they simply mean living with purpose. They want me to be passionate abut what I’m doing, to live a happy life, to make close and dear friends, to take adventures here and there, and to love God and others well. And from that I have the perseverance and drive to do my best at all of those things.
ReplyDelete-Fourth, in the video “Why are Humans “Ultrasocial”?” Dr. Dacher says that humans are caretakers, whether that is for our own family or others. We are built to care and take care for others. Sadly, he says that our society is losing our ultra-sociality for example, high divorce rates, marital satisfaction is declining, and there is a rise in loneliness. With that being said, what does that teach the younger generation? Divorce is okay, your marriage will lose its happiness and satisfaction, and you are going to end up sad and lonely which is 100% wrong. That is why it is so important to have a family that is healthy and flourishing, because though we make mistakes, families and marriages argue and get in fights there is still a way to get back to the recover and get through it instead of choosing one of those three negative things I spoke about above. Having a healthy and flourishing family doesn’t mean you are perfect and don’t get upset and don’t get in fights, everyone struggles and makes mistakes but what makes a healthy and flourishing family is communication, honesty and trust. Teaching your children to love one another even when you are mad at them, etc. In order to improve out society, I would say we could improve on teaching our children through our experiences, talking to them, and let them know that divorce, loneliness, and dissatisfaction are not what they will have later on in life.
-The last point I wanted to make was that having a healthy family and a flourishing family can teach us that we can’t take time for granted. Now that we live in a society that is surrounded by technology we find it harder and harder to see those special moments with the family. Our focus is more on social media, work, etc. We don’t see kids outside playing anymore, we don’t see families sitting down talking at the family dinner, which is where gratitude comes in. I like how in the video “What Actually Feeds A Family?” They interview the families and my favorite were the sons and the dad. The son says that the dad says to get off their phones while he is also on his phone on Facebook completely distracted and not paying attention to anything else other than that. It is sad to see that in our society, but this whole video is about being grateful and taking the time out of the day to reassure them that they are doing a great job and letting their gratefulness be known. We need flourishing and healthy families and we need to see more of them. We need to see families bonding over family dinner, having fun outside out in nature together, and away from the effects of technology.
2. What are your thoughts on the SoulPancake videos on "secret of happy family", "gratitude" & "what feeds our family"? List the highlights and the key takeaways from the video
DeleteI will not lie, the first video “What Feeds Our Family?” had me tearing up. It was an eye opener to how busy life can get and how distracted we can get and the affects it could have on our relationships. I loved how they each were open and didn’t hold back what they were feeling. I felt like we take our families for granted because we know they will always be there, but we forget to show them how grateful we are for them and there sacrifices. This video reminded me that I need to tell my family how grateful I am for their hard work and their sacrifices. In the video “Secret of a Happy Family” Some things I learned from this video were that most kids know when the parent is struggling, and they feel their struggle. They worry for their family, they feel sad and wish they could help. I learned that kids experience things almost like an adult, they may not e going through it personally, but they feel what they parent feels. Most of the kids think that money is what would make their parents happy, which is sad because that is not the case. It would probably take off some stress yes, but it wouldn’t make them happy.
3. It takes awhile until I fully can trust someone. From experience it can really hurt you if you put your trust in someone so soon, so from those experiences I’ve become weary of putting my trust in others until I feel that in my heart I can trust them. For me I love when people put their trust for me, I feel grateful when people come to confide in me. I love when people come to talk to me, and I also love to listen to people and I enjoy giving them advice or just praying for them. I do feel like there is a connection between my early attachments relationships and current relationships. Now that I am older I can easily spot why I do things or why I feel certain way in different social situations or relationships. From this assessment I do see where I could grow more. I could improve on maybe being open-minded and have an open heart towards people instead of having a wall up and being weary of that person and their intentions. Also just trusting people in general is a scary thing so I could improve on having a positive attitude and not feeling scared about trusting others.
4.(i). In Christine Carter’s “Why gratitude works” she mentions three reasons why gratitude works. The first point she made was recognizing that gratitude Is associated with an increase in self-worth. The second point of how gratitude works is it is a social emotion which is how people make connections with each other. Lastly, the last point she made was practicing gratitude. By focusing on the positive things in life instead of the negative things. From theses three points I would say that I relate to the third one the most. If I am happier and my life is going great then I tend to focus more on that than anything else.
Delete(ii) In Dr. Saras video about romantic relationships one thing that stood out to me is that is is very important to show gratitude for the little things in life. We can take things for granted and that it is very important for everyone in their lives and relationships to remind them how thankful they are for that person.
(iii) In the ‘Kindness-Happiness Loop” when the researchers talked about compassion they also discussed the connection it has to happiness. They say how kindness can help your life, improve it and also could provide benefits from it. Being kind helps you become happier, helps increase your happiness, which is why we should all be kind to everyone, we could improve their day as well as our own.
2.After watching these three videos it made my mood just happier seeing other people happy by either talking to their family or their friends. I like to see other people happy, so it was heart warming to watch others become more connected with each other and have a good time with their loved ones. Something that I noticed in all the videos was, that it was easier to speak well about the other person when they were not with them. Whenever they brought the parents in or made the individual call their loved one, it became harder for them to speak about what they wanted to say to their face. Why is it hard for people to show and tell their gratitude for a person when it can result in happiness? That was the question that was running through my head while I was watching them. In the video the Secret of a happy family, the kids were being asked questions about their parents and the parents would try to guess what they thought the answer their child gave. It made the parents realize that their kids notice and know what is going on with their parents and they care about what and how their parents act. The concept of the video was to see what qualities and what is being a good parent. As Ben stated, “Being a good parent isn’t about how much time you spend with them, its about the quality of the time. Direct result of your ability to stay present while you’re with them.” In the next video What feeds a family, the kids and parents were being asked about how connected to their family they thought they were and what they wished could happen more to make that connection occur more often. The main point out of that video was that even if it isn’t much time, spending quality time with your family can lead to figuring out how things are going and being able to catch up with each other with what is going on in everyone’s lives. One thing I noticed in this video was that the kids all pretty much said that they didn’t tell their parents that they loved them as much as they think they should. These days, families only come together on holidays and even a mother in the video stated, “I liked that we spent a Sunday afternoon just opening up and talking about what we mean to each other. It’s nice. It’s nice to do that for each other and it’s not even Thanksgiving.” Meaning that families may only think that it is acceptable to talk to each other about how they feel whenever it is a holiday, not just a regular day. In the last video about Gratitude, it was talking about how telling people that mean a lot to an individual can mean so much to them and can make both individuals happier. Expressing gratitude can have a greater impact on your life, so why not do it more often? Julian states that “psychologists have scientifically proven that one of the greatest contributing factors to overall happiness in your life is how much gratitude you show.”
ReplyDelete3.I typically do not trust individual’s that quickly. Most of the time it will take me some time to get to know the individual and see how they are like before I begin to fully trust them. I am a skeptical person when it comes to giving out information about myself because I mainly keep to myself and my close friends. My results for the attachment styles and close relationships assessment showed that my attachment-related anxiety was at a 3.00 meaning that I don’t really worry about my partner not loving me or matters such as those. My result for attachment-related avoidance was a 2.67 meaning that I am pretty comfortable telling and depending on my significant other or close friends my personal life. I think these results are pretty accurate because if I am comfortable with the person I am talking to, I will be able to open up to them and trust them. When other people trust me, I feel as if I need to be the best I can be at whatever they are entrusting me to do so I want to gain their respect and keep their trust to be a reliable person. Something that I could grow on with trust, would be to give people a chance at gaining my trust more easily. I tend to doubt what others will do and not give them a chance to prove that they can be a trustworthy person so that would be something I should work on.
ReplyDelete4)
1. Gratitude is associated with increased self-worth and when an individual’s sense of self-worth goes up, the satisfaction of life also goes up. (Christine Carter: Why Gratitude Works)
2. Gratitude is a social emotion and creates a connection with the people around us and can increase our happiness. (Christine Carter: Why Gratitude Works)
3. If a person recognizes and counts their blessings and the things that they are grateful for in one aspect, they can see what they are grateful for in their everyday lives in other areas as well. (Christine Carter: Why Gratitude Works)
(ii)Dr. Sara Algoe said that it is found that relationships are a central component to survival because they can be correlated to good mental health, physical health, and longevity. I found this study intriguing because it just shows that if you have a good and healthy relationship with either a partner or a friend, that the connection you have with them will have an impact on both individual’s lives. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, feeling loved and having a person to talk to is extremely important in a person’s life. Without those relationships in an individual’s life, it can hurt that individual’s health and mental health.
(iii)Compassion can lead to happiness through the empathy that you socially adept. Also reducing distress can lead to happiness because it is a caregiving urge that is good for the well-being of an individual. The third thing that compassion can help lead to happiness is the judgment that an individual is capable of self-efficacy that is linked to resilience and happiness. Showing compassion can lead to lower levels of stress which can ultimately lead to more happiness with less amounts of stress. The main factors that the compassion researchers state about its connection to happiness would be the reduction of stress, the natural caregiving for each other in an individual, and the capability of the self-efficacy a person has through compassion training.
Having a healthy and flourishing family is significant because it can lead to the happiness of each of the family member. When a family begins flourishing it shows that the family is growing either all together or each person individually that can grow a part of the family in pieces.
ReplyDelete1. The positive feedback that an individual gets from doing a kind gesture will make a person happier and because of that happiness, it will make that individual want to engage in another kind act, so they can feel that type of happiness again. (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/kindness_makes_you_happy_and_happiness_makes_you_kind)
2. Having positive social relationships throughout childhood up to adult life can lead to feeling the connectedness to others socially and through their well-being. It is important to show these developments to a child as they grow up that way they will have these skills to show others in their relationships. (https://www.springer.com/about+springer/media/springer+select?SGWID=0-11001-6-1385248-0)
3. The kindness happiness loop is a characteristic towards a flourishing family because it can help with being less lonely, less depression, and generally feeling better through their health. When a person shows kindness towards others, it creates more happiness in that individual throughout the day. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCj4kjwSp1U&feature=youtu.be)
4. Parents and their kids feed off of each other’s emotions and their actions so when a family can really connect with each other, they have the ability to grow together. (Secret of a Happy Family)
5. When a family can spend time together they can grow as they learn what each other likes and dislikes and just learn about their day to know what is going on in their lives. (What Feeds A Family)
1. To have a healthy and flourishing family is to have a happy family. It is so important to have good social connections and people who understand you. Dr. Sara B. Discusses how having a close person that can be there for you in many ways helps to boost your happiness and it also helps to show you how important that person is to you. I have a perfect example for this being my best friend. He helped me move my mother’s stuff to her new home. All it took was one phone call and he was there. He is essentially part of my family because we have known him since we were very small. Dr. Diener found that very happy people have rich and satisfying relationships and spend little time alone. Essentially this means that a core foundation to happiness is having good full relationships with those around you. This is essential for a family. You must have a good relationship with people like your mother and father. I believe that is key for any child growing up. One study also showed that essentially the more friends you have the happier you will be. This can be tough for many people to deal with including myself because I have always been satisfied with my small cluster of friends. Dr. Danny developed a method for measuring happiness called the Daily Deconstruction Method. He found that people had the most happiness boosts when having close relations with someone, whether it be family, a spouse, or close friends. This proves having intimate relations is key to happiness, or at least a huge core component.
ReplyDelete2. The Gratitude video definitely had one of my favorite moments. When the grown kid finishes his paragraph for his mom she says, “I think I am going to cry that was so beautiful”. This reminded me of a letter I wrote to my mom for Mother’s Day. She called me the next day to tell me it was the most wonderful thing she had read in a long time. I thought I was going to cry! It was a great moment that I won’t forget. I think an interesting note for The Secret to a Happy Family Video is that most of the kids in their “3 wishes” wished for more money. Not only was that common, but each one that did wish it wished it first in the list. I don’t think this is necessarily bad, but I understand it. I grew up with a single mom and I worried for her a lot. Just like most of the kids in the video as well. I also found it interesting in the “What Feeds a Family” video that most of the kids thought that their parents thought that their grades were most important when in fact that is not true. I had a conversation about this in high school with my mom. I had gotten my first “C” in a grading period for a class and just knew my mom would be upset. She simply explained to me that I am not always going to succeed perfectly, and she knew that. She told me there is always the next grading period to make it better.
3. a) I feel like my trust takes some time to achieve, but I never start with by unwilling to trust someone.
b) I feel like I manage my trust pretty well. Based on my test results I seem to have low anxiety and better security with my relationships. This to me means I have a pretty good management of my trust.
c) I feel these conclusions are pretty accurate for most of my relationships. I never worry too much that something is wrong with my close relationships. Hence the low anxiety score as well as low avoidance. I feel these are all good things that are apparent in my current relationships. I only have a few really close friends, but I feel like that is all I need in my life.
d) I could spend more quality face to face time with them probably. Some of my friends I really only talk to on the phone, but most of them I see almost every day.
4. A. a) The first place I found is the link to the article on gratitude meditation. This page has places throughout that prove it works. A group of people were monitored before and after their first gratitude meditation and definitely saw an increase in happiness.
ReplyDeleteb) I found the exercise called the Gratitude Jar again. This is proven to give a boost in a persons happiness. Then by the end of it you’re helping others which is certain to boost happiness further. If you don’t believe me you can check any website that includes this exercise. There are all kinds of things that it is used to prove including the website included in the article - https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-exercises/
c) Another way to tell that gratitude works is to take a look at the Gratitude Letter exercise. This not only benefits the person showing gratitude, but has been proven to boost the happiness of all parties involved. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201512/7-ways-cultivate-more-thankfulness
B. I liked when she talked about how moments when we are truly grateful for something someone does. It really opens us up to realize how much we really are grateful for that person. I found it was interesting when she used the metaphor of a car to describe how many relationships start off bright and shiny and slowly dull. Honestly most points in this research were interesting so it was hard to highlight a few. I liked the discussion about how gratitude is essentially a booster shot for a relationship. Everyday gratitude. Any kind of gratitude!! I think this is wonderful.
C) Compassion seems to boost happiness quite a lot. Especially by helping to remove a person’s loneliness. Also, when showing compassion, according to the Compassion-Happiness Loop Video, people show a boost in happiness when giving anything. Not only compassion, but things like donating money or doing something for someone else.
I thought the video "Secret of a Happy Family" was very eye-opening. It shows that even though your kids may be young, the notice and realize everything that is going on in the house. The emotions that the parents give off really effects the kids. It is not the about the amount of time that you get with your children, but more about the quality of that time that you spend with them.
ReplyDeleteMy results from the "Attachment Styles and Close Relationship Assessment", my experience on the ability to trust others showed that I was between secure and preoccupied. It also showed that I have low anxiety and low avoidance. I think that I manage the trust that others place on me very well because I am a responsible person. A conclusion that I can draw from my results to my current relationships is that I do not stress much about what others are doing and what they think about me, but I do care about if the things I am doing is making me happy. For my ability to be able to connect fully and deeply with others, I feel like I need to open up more and be more trusting of others and understand that it is okay to be dependent on others and not just myself.
1. The significance of a healthy and flourishing family is in the fact that it shapes how a person grow up relating to their society. Heidelberg’s research is titled “early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness”. And of course, the relationship a child has with their parents is the earliest relationship one can experience. It is the preface of all emotions. It is recorded that child social connectedness is the precursor to adult well-being. On the other hand, there is no strong correlation between socioeconomic prosperity and happiness. The author concluded: “If these pathways are separate, then positive social development across childhood and adolescence requires investments beyond development of the academic curriculum”. “The Secret of Happiness” by SoulPancake is the real-life representation of what a good family looks like, and it usually shows most obviously in how a kid behaves. Dacher from the University of California presented the “Caretaking” dimension of our Ultra-sociality as fundamental. Our nervous systems are literally rearranged when we take care of our vulnerable offspring. This shows how it is a part of being human to care, and this needs to be developed early in one’s life. In addition, there exists a “cuddle hormone” that shows we are wired to be bonded to our mothers since birth. And ultimately, this leads to different attachment styles. The data shows how someone can lead the anxious or secure attachment style – either are based on the quality of the family. In the end, all of these lead to whether one is happy or unhappy.
ReplyDeleteFelix Nguyen
Delete2. The SoulPancake videos is very helpful in visualizing for me how all of these studies and data become practical in the real world. In the “Secret of Happiness” video, couples of parent and child are interviewed, the first part with only the children privately answering the questions, the second part has the parents answer the same questions and compare them with their children’s, and finally, a heartfelt conversation between the two sides. The video shows an interesting research: As soon as we become parents, our brains rewire themselves so that we become better parents every day. It is also interesting how unspoken things are noticed by kids about their parents, things that we might now know are appreciated or unappreciated by our kids. ‘Being a good parent is not about how much time you spend with them. It’s about the quality of the time.” I love the example of the father walking his son to school every day and considering that their “quality time”. It is such a simple thing but means so much to the both of them. SoulPancake’s second video, “An Experiment in Gratitude”, people are asked to write down how they appreciate a certain person in their lives, and the challenge was to call that person and read to them what they just wrote. The root of this experiment is from a studied fact that people who express more gratitude show an increased level of happiness. This experiment really puts everyone on the spot and challenge them to show how thankful you are. This really speaks to me since it is Thanksgiving season and I feel like most of the time I am too uncomfortable to say a simple thank you. The test ends with big smiles from the participants that show, more than words, the power of such joy that a simple act of expressing gratitude can bring you. The third video, “What Actually Feeds A Family”, really brings it back to reality and to something I think we can all relate to – a family that is not always connected. The experiment was to have family members answer the tough question “Is your family connected” privately, and then show all of them the responses as a surprise during a meal. What spoke to me the most from the video was the father’s expression when he heard that his children want to spend more time with him, but never got the courage to ask. It is sad to see how kids usually think their parents only want good grades and good jobs out of them, but parents usually want much more meaningful things than that, but are unable to express it fully. I believe this video shows us a glimpse of how powerful family connection can be if we just spent a little more quality time, saying what we need to say to each other. In the end, financial stability or overall success does not feed a family, love does.
ReplyDeleteFelix Nguyen
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ReplyDelete2. I really enjoyed the Secret of a Happy Family video. It showed the many different responses the children had based on how their parents react. Then it showed the parents reactions to what the children said. I personally loved how a parent said "The key to being a good parent is being there for your kid not just financially but physically." It really just stood out because kids need both happiness mentally and physically. It also showed how the kids gave their responses on how much their parents spend time with them. I think the secret to happiness in your family is just being there for your kids, supporting them, and loving them unconditionally. I personally do not have kids, but my parents support me and constantly show me love. I am forever grateful to have parents that continuously do that because not everyone gets to have parents who are like that.
ReplyDelete4. (i.) Dr. Christine Carter during her video called "Why Gratitude works" she talks about three ways it can work. The first reason is, gratitude can increase self-worth.Having someone tell you that you did great or thanked for something they did helps their self-worth in the long run. The second reason is, it is a a social emotion. She described this as expressing gratitude toward others and they tend to feel a connection back. It is a social connection towards others that makes us happy. Lastly, when we start practicing gratitude we start to take in the information that is really a blessing. We take in our blessing and ignore the hassles in life. It eliminates the bad things, so we become more able to express gratitude and have happiness. I can see how each of these three things allows gratitude to work effectively. The end results make us feel better and more optimistic about life.
-Kayley Valles
2. When I initially looked at the links, I neither though much about it nor expect anything. However, all three videos moved me to tears. In all the videos, gratitude prevailed. Children and adults alike were moved by the responses of their family and friends when they were asked to convey something they were grateful about. The video that I enjoyed the most was “secret of happy family.” The way the children talked about their parents were very sweet and I could see the way how each child was raised by the way they spoke and their gestures. Later, their parent were asked about how they think that their child would respond to the question they were asked. Looking at the parents’ expressions, it seemed like they sometimes fail to understand their child. It is like they think, “My child is only eight years old. How much would she know?” When in reality, their child understands much more than the parents think the children do. In “what feeds our family,” families were placed on the same dinner table and a video about them expressing their gratitude to one another was played on a tv screen at the dinner table. This showed me that expressing gratitude can be so simple and yet we still do not engage in it regularly. One thing that I liked about one of the parents was when he said that to spend time with a child is to be physically there with him. Based on my experience, I also once asked my mother the same thing. “Why do you send me to school even though you are always so busy?” She replied, “It is because I am busy. I want to spend time with you too.”
ReplyDelete3. Trusting others is to always take things with a grain of salt. With the present world, there are countless of cases of scams and deceit which makes it harder to trust people. When I became a teenager, I realized that the people who you were friends with since childhood are more trustworthy because as children, we share our honest opinion to each other. It is true that people change, however, as our own future guardians, we have the free will of making the decision of trust. It takes two people to create a meaningful bond. I trust that the people who I trust trust me. I often carefully select my friends which significantly increases the depth of our relationship. Cultivating relationships are never easy. I learned that no matter how similar you can be with another, you can never be the same as that person and there are bound to be some disagreements. But to be able to look past the differences and to accept that person as who they are and vice versa brings us closer to one another. Everybody has different ways of expressing their friendship. Being able to see that and looking at things from their perspective and vice versa is the most important thing when connecting deeply and fully to others.
Lyana Cremnitz
2. What are your thoughts on the SoulPancake videos on "secret of happy family", "gratitude" & "what feeds our family"? List the highlights and the key takeaways from the video
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the Soul Pancake videos. From "Secret of Happy Family", the main point was that quality of time always triumphs over quantity of time. Spending time and communicating with family members play a key role in the happiness of the family relationships. From "Gratitude", the key point was that expressing gratitude increases happiness by a large amount. It is not just about being grateful; you need to express it as well. Lastly, "What Feeds Our Family" emphasised expressing emotions and affection with one another directly. When family members express their love or appreciation directly, it increases their connection with one another. I like how these videos capture the honest opinions and feelings of their subjects. I think it is often hard to find people who can do that, for it can make them feel vulnerable.
3. Having taken the "Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Assessment" (or any other similar assessment), reflect on the following questions- How do you experience your ability to trust others? How well do you manage the trust others place on you? What conclusions can you draw from your results to your current adult relationships? What potential for growth do you see in your ability to connect deeply and fully with others?
I am quite a trusting person. I think I make friendships quite easily and seem to inspire people's trust in me. I'm not very sure why that is the case, but it seems to happen often. I tend to trust people based on how they speak and act. I observe their standards and values before trusting them. But I also realise that I decide whether to trust others or not based on their age and how they look. I try my best to prove true others' trust in me. I don't want to let people down.
I think I am secure in most of my relationships. I think that as I get closer to people, I become more secure for I know them better and I trust in their character to remain the same. I also think that they would know more than one side of me and therefore can see me more holistically and not judge me based on one aspect only. I can definitely grow in becoming a better communicator in my opinions and feelings. It is hard to talk about subconscious or personal matters directly with others, so it is something that I need to work on. I also think it is important to work on seeing matters from others' point of view, so that I can gain better understanding of them.
Katrina Sie
2. What are your thoughts on the SoulPancake videos on "secret of happy family", "gratitude" & "what feeds our family"? List the highlights and the key takeaways from the video
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting in the secret of happy family that the kids and parents answers were similar to the questions asked. Also, the things the kids picked up on like money or jobs for an example. I did like the kids were most concerned with the quality of time spent with parents and not just the amount of time. The parent needs to be present and value their time together. I did like the gratitude study and how it relates to our happiness. It was most interesting that the least grateful were the happiest after the phone call. The empathy video was really cool. The parking ticket experiment and the results if we have sympathy or empathy. I was most shocked by the result with empathy their happiness increased.
3. Having taken the "Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Assessment" (or any other similar assessment), reflect on the following questions- How do you experience your ability to trust others? How well do you manage the trust others place on you? What conclusions can you draw from your results to your current adult relationships? What potential for growth do you see in your ability to connect deeply and fully with others?
I feel like I do well at trusting others. I usually get to know a person before I completely trust them. I think I observe their relationships with others. I think I manage trusting others well. I am a quiet person and usually am not real social. I need to work on my socialization to increase my relationships. I am committed to a relationship when I trust a person. For example, I am in a relationship now for over 2 years and much has been long distance. Trust is a huge piece in making the relationship work.
Above comment by Megan Simpson
ReplyDelete"Early relationships, not brainpower, key to adult happiness" is the title of an article published on Springer. It talks about how having friends and social connections are more influential when it comes to making people happy when compared to simply making good grades. But where do you start making good social connections? Dr. Dacher says that depends on your attachment style. For people with secure attachment styles, it is easy to get close to people and to build relationships. For those with an anxious or avoidance attachment style, the path to social connections could be much more complicated. In some cases, like Meghan Laslocky, it could involve therapy and support of loved ones or a significant other to make the transition from anxious/avoidance to secure attachment. Dr. Emiliana talks about, among other things, the fact that being excluded activates parts of your brain that are associated with physical pain. Pain exists to tell us that something is wrong. So if being isolated is equal to physical pain, then something is not right. We are made to connect and that is significantly harder without a Secure attachment style and that comes from a healthy and functioning family. This is the reason that healthy and happy families are the key to success.
ReplyDeleteI can put my trust in others fairly easily. It happens gradually but it happens. Even if we do not talk often, I still try to trust them more and more as time passes. It might take a decade for some people to get to the point my closest friends got to in less than a year, but I let it grow until something happens to change how I feel. I feel like I handle it well most of the time. Rarely have I ever told a secret I was asked not to share. When that has happened, it was always by accident to another person I know will keep it a secret unless told otherwise. I like to be trusted by others. My desired career depends on others trusting me with secrets. My result fell into the Secure attachment category and I can definitely agree. I trust people easier than most and have no problem with people trusting me. Although I trust easier than most, I still hold back some information from everyone that I know and I still have walls. I can definitely grow there, although there is no need for me to spill my guts to everyone, I could be more trusting to my friends when it comes to me needing to talk instead of them.
Leslie Wolcott
2. I thought that the videos by SoulPancake about family, happiness, and gratitude were very interesting and really touched me in a way that I have never been before. Those videos have helped me better understand how to communicate what I am feeling with my family and how I can show gratitude for them in many different ways. I think some of the key takeaways from the videos are that families thrive when there is communication and quality time spent together, the showing of gratitude can greatly change a person’s happiness, and that talking to each other about what truly matters is what helps family relationships become stronger.
ReplyDelete3. I experience my ability to trust others when it comes to asking someone to hang onto something that is valuable to me. This usually happens when I ask someone to hold my wallet while I go and do something. I think I have a little mistrust sometimes, but generally have trust in someone until they cause me to think otherwise. I manage the trust others place on me okay. I sometimes let them down, but try to maintain that trust the best that I can without it greatly affecting my life in bad ways. I think that I personally have a bit of fear when it comes to relationships, not as much because I think that my partner is going to let me down, but instead that I am going to let them down. I think I can have pretty good relationships, but I do need to communicate with others about what I feel and really work through things in order to have a successful relationship. I think I have the ability to grow in my connections with others. I think that I need to trust myself a little bit more and trust others in order for my relationships to become deeper and more meaningful.
-Kaitlyn Walker
2. The SoulPancake videos are not always my favorite. I just feel like the production of them is always confusing, as there is not always a main conclusion to them. However I liked these, as they were somewhat easier to follow. The “Secret of a Happy Family” video started out with an informative section where it explains that our brains actually just adapt to being a parent. I really enjoyed that bit of the video, because I’ve never heard that before and it seems to be one of the only things not including in the rest of the material. Moving into the rest of the video, I really liked that they seperated the kids to get their true response. You could tell that the kids with parents who spent a lot of time with them had rubbed off on their children. Although none of the kids seemed upset, I could tell that the kids whose parents invested their time in them more were a lot more bubbly when talking about them. The dad who was discussing the importance of the little things really left an affect on me. I think that’s what it truly means to have a happy family. I believe the videos main goal was to say that the secret to having a happy family is to spend time with one another. The “Gratitude” video was my favorite. I definitely understand the science behind that all. Expressing gratitude for someone out loud just puts your mind in the right place. I am always so careful express thank yous to whomever it may be, as it just puts me in a good mood too. I loved the added fact that the person who experienced the biggest increase in happiness was the one who came in the least happy. That just goes to show that even the littlest of things can fix the biggest of problems. For the “What Feeds a Family” video, at first it was really disappointing that all of the families felt that they were disconnected. However, the more they talked about it, the more I related to what they were saying. Unfortunately, families are so disconnected nowadays. This isn’t always due to the electronics though. Family members who have to work miss out on connecting with their family just so they can provide for them. It’s unfair, but sometimes it’s just how it is. I really liked how after the families sat down and watched and ate, they felt more connected to each other. No matter how busy we are it is important to find the time to spend with our families. It’s so good for our mental health.
ReplyDelete3. My ability to trust others has always been very strong. I feel that because I am some a trustworthy person in relationships, I automatically expect the other to be the same way. Because that is such a naive way of thinking, it has led to a couple of broken relationships. I have become a bit more reserved with my trust, however I always try to remember to give the the benefit of the doubt. The trust that others place on me does not bother me at all. I can handle trust, as breaking someone’s trust has always hurt me more than it hurts them. I always want to be known as a faithful and trustworthy person, so I’m not going to do something to purposely jeopardize that. However, someone who continues to add stress to their trust given to me causes more issues for me. I feel the pressure when people constantly bring that up and it causes me to become a micromanager of my actions. For a while, I was in a really trusting relationship. However, the trust was ruined from both sides, causing there to be a lot of holes in our happiness. I’m honestly surprised that i got the result of “secure”, as I don’t really feel that way anymore. I hope to regrow myself and the health of my relationships. I know I have a lot of time for it, I’m just afraid I will never be the same again. I know it takes a lot of small trustworthy actions to build the overall trust back up, but i have faith in my forgiving side that i will be able to work back to that one day.
2. I enjoyed watching the first soulpancake video, the secret of a happy family. I was not really sure what the whole point of the video would be, because there was a lot of topics covered within the different interviews but I was not really surprised about the conclusion they found. I definitely agree that spending time with your family members is important, and now i understand better that it’s about the quality of the time you spend with them and not completely about how much time. I found it really interesting how many of the parents and kids did give the same answers to the same questions, even thought they had no way of knowing what the other one was going to say. I never really made a connection between gratitude and happiness, but after watching the soulpancake video, it makes a lot of sense. Watching the people’s reactions to what they were being asked to do was very interesting, and hearing who they picked as the most influential person was interesting as well, especially the older man who chose his college accounting professor. It was really cool to see that showing gratitude did increase a persons happiness, but it was surprising to see that the person who came in the least happy was actually the happiest after showing gratitude. After the initial surprise, I thought about my volleyball team and how we’re always told to pour into others and encourage others, especially when we are not doing well or having a bad day. That way we take our minds off of ourselves and focus on someone else, and now I understand that showing gratitude like that can make us happier along with the teammates we’re encouraging. The feed my family video was interesting also. I feel like it may have been a little uncomfortable at first, because some of the things being said were not the best things, and may have been hard for some parents to hear from their kids, or vice versa. However, as the video went on, each person was happier and had a better understanding of how the kids and parents felt about each other and why they felt either disconnected or connected. I feel like this is a really important thing to talk about because it is so easy for people to be disconnected from one another with all the technology and distractions within society which can make it easy to forget about the more important things, like spending quality time with you parents or siblings.
ReplyDelete4. (i) In the video lecture by Dr. Christine Carters, she provides three reasons why gratitude works. The first reason is that gratitude is associated with increased self-worth. She says that the second reason gratitude works is because it is a really social emotion and tends to bind us with one another. Lastly, she says that gratitude works because when we are consciously practicing gratitude, we start to pay more attention to the good things and blessings we have in our lives. (ii) The results from Dr. Sara Algoe made a lot of sense. It made sense that those who expressed gratitude towards one another would feel more closely bonded with them and happier about the relationship. This video really emphasizes how important it is to show gratitude no matter what, as long as you are being genuine. She encourages us to be grateful for all the big and small things people do for us and to always express that gratitude, because it will make everyone happier. (iii) The compassion’s research explain that compassion is related to happiness. They talked about compassion can lead to happiness because it can reduce people’s distress and possibly help them feel more self-worth, especially if they see someone going out of their way to help them through their suffering. Another way it can lead to happiness is because showing compassion to others increases the social connections and make you more socially adept.
-Karlie Knapek
2. I loved watching the “Secret if Happy Family” video. It was really moving and showed me that quality time is most important. We need to communicate and talk to our family so we can better understand and know each other.”Gradtitude” highlighted the importance of giving gratitude and thanks to others and this increases your happiness. “What Feeds Our Family” video was was great to watch. It showed me that you need to express your emotion to others. Expressing love to family increases their conection to one another.
ReplyDelete3. I do a good job of trusting people that I get to know and do not put a lot of trust in people I barely know. I trust people of the way they have acted towards me and their values. I manage trust of others well. It is easy for me to to listen and try my hardest to do what the person has asked. I need to communicate more in all of my relationships to better improve all of them, all in all I think all my relationships are good.
2. All of these videos made me cry. They were so beautiful. On the "Secret to a happy family" video, I loved listening to the childrens comments about their parent. It made me realize how much children really pay attention and want the best for their parents. I really loved seeing the parents reactions the most. Most of the time the children got the questions right and the parents would laugh or sit in awe of their children. I could really see the connection between a lot of the family members and see the love throughout the family. I also love the innocence of the children. Them being so raw in their emotions and not holding anything back in fear of being judged. It was also interesting to hear that neurons rewire and brain cells grow when you become a parent. The human body is so miraculous. The "Gratitude" video also made me very happy. It reminded me how much I need to express my feelings of gratitude toward my loved ones. I loved listening to the reactions of the people that the paper was written about. I loved hearing their comments. For example, the son that wrote about his mother. His mother was so happy to get a call from him and I really think it made both of them very happy. Also, hearing that it's scientifically proven to help improve your mood is very cool. Especially if you're having a bad day, the act of gratitude can increase your happiness a lot more than if you were already happy. The "What feeds a family" video touched my emotions a lot. Personally, family is a very important part of my life. I love and cherish my family to pieces and am so excited to have a family of my own one day. Some things were funny that I relate to in the video. For example, the father and two boys talking about them being on their phones pretty often. It reminded me how many moments or memories we could be missing just because a phone is in our face. Also, what really made me cry the most was when they asked the children what they thought their parents wanted most for their children lives. The children mostly said to make good grades and be successful. All of the children were wrong. All of the parents just want their children to fulfill their dreams and be as happy as they can be. I just loved those answers so much, mostly because I know my parents feel the same way. I am so grateful to have such loving parents who just want me to be happy and want the best for me. I am so blessed.
ReplyDelete3. I think I'm able to trust people in general. I honestly am pretty gullible and think the best of people. Trusting very close friends is just a given. If you're a close friend of mine (I don't have many) then I automatically trust you. If I'm just acquaintances with you then I can trust you to an extent but not with huge things or topics. I think I manage the trust others place on me fairly well. I want to keep that trust with them because I value that a lot in a relationship. I'm definitely afraid of breaking trust with anyone whether it be an authority figure or a loved one. I think I need to have growth in picking who I trust the most. Honestly, there are probably some people that I trust with information that I probably shouldn't.
2. I found the videos a bit interesting. The first one of the videos made some very interesting conclusions. I am a bit of a hard person to make emotions happen with, so the emotional appeal of the video did not really resonate with me. I generally get the point behind the videos that family is important. The role that family plays in our lives is important and affects our worldviews. There can be a large discrepancy between distant parents and others. Gratitude was also interesting. Again, the emotions didn't really appeal to me. I understand the importance of telling others what you feel about them. Positive feelings are great for anyone involved. Overall, the videos help show the importance of being with and connecting with family during this holiday season.
ReplyDelete3. Admittedly, it takes a lot to gain my trust. Someone has to work for me to be able to trust them. I want someone to put forth the effort. I refuse to be a gullible person because I do not like being fooled. I find that my trustworthiness tends to come out in group projects. I have almost never had a group project where I am not carrying the entire thing. I carry out my end of the deal in trust, so I am not pleased when someone does not return the favor. I make sure to keep myself guarded when I am talking, as I do not just give out information to people unless they have gained my trust in a relationship.
-Noah Jones